I didn't fare very well at the Angeles Crest 100. I missed a time cutoff at mile 30 and they would not let me continue. I wish I had an epic story about this failure, but there is none. It's just a simple fact that when I try to run really hard races often, I fail from time to time. And that's perfectly fine. Not in the sense that it's acceptable and I don't need to learn from it and try harder, but rather, in the sense that as long as I am giving my all I can't really beat myself up over the results.
I think after 23 years of sobriety and several years of ultra running I have finally reached a point where acceptance is coming quite easily. I don't find myself worrying as much about what other people think. I don't do these races to brag to other people. I do these races because I enjoy running in beautiful places. I love nature. I love running. And most of all I love the feeling of pushing my limits as hard as I can. When I fail I do not feel shame. I'm grateful for the chance to try to do these things. I do the best I can and leave the results up to god.
I have one more chance to re-qualify for Hardrock left this year at the Bear 100. I have around a month to prepare. I really hope I can finish under the 36 hour cutoff and keep my Hardrock Lottery tickets, but.....it's not my decision to make.
If you have some spare time check out the Podcast (Ten Junk Miles on Itunes). I'm really proud of it. I've been getting emails from people all over the world telling me that it makes a difference in their life. It's really amazing. :)